


come away to the darkness

by sapphire2309



Category: White Collar
Genre: Blood, GSW, Gen, No suicidal ideation, Set somewhere in S5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6185899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal is more okay with the thought of dying than he ever thought he'd be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come away to the darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea when this was written. (I _think_ I PM'd it to kanarek13 for her birthday?) But I just found it in my drive and I figured, why not. Cleaned it up a little, axed a few words and sentences, and here it is. Title's from Come Away To The Water by Maroon 5 featuring Rozzi Crane.

Bleeding, fading, dying is more peaceful than Neal thought it would be.

Those first few moments had been violent, dizzying - he thinks he was shot, certainly feels like he was - but after that, after falling backwards onto the rocks and sand and probably hurting his head a little, everything is gentle. The pain’s there, somewhere in a plane he can't reach, but mostly he’s enamoured by the sound of the waves, the velvety feel of the breeze on his face, the soft, cool sand he can feel with the fingertips of the one arm that’s lying outstretched.

He has one hand laid on his chest, roughly over the blood, in a vague attempt to control the bleeding, but it isn’t doing very much by way of saving his life. It isn’t doing very much at all.

Peter isn’t coming, he’s sure. They’ve drifted too far apart for that old friendship to matter anymore. Peter will go after the bad guys. He’ll make sure they’re arrested. He’ll make sure they don’t get away. The thought is oddly comforting.

If he'd been any more conscious, more there, he's absolutely certain he would have tried harder, held on tighter. But as he is, the best he can do is breathe and be happy that these last moments are so heartbreakingly peaceful.

-:-

"Neal!"

Neal winces and tries to curl away from the sound - it's jagged and raw, he wants the peace back. He tries to find leverage, but his hand ends up fumbling uselessly over a pile of loose stones.

"Neal!" And that sound, harsh as it is, suddenly becomes the most beautiful thing he's heard. _Peter._ He tries to open his eyes, tries to call back, but all he manages is a hoarse whisper.

"Neal! Oh god, Neal," and the sound is _right there_ , he wants to do more, move closer, but he just about manages to open his eyes, squint at the fuzzy mirage that must be Peter's face, and break out into the best smile he can manage.

He closes his eyes, turns his head towards Peter, and is rewarded with a hand resting on his head. He smiles again, softer this time, just a gentle curve of his lips, and shuts his eyes again.

Peaceful has absolutely nothing on safe.

-:-

Blood. There's a lot of blood.

Peter lets his hand rest on Neal's forehead as he assesses the damage (too much, _too much_ ). Despite how long it took him to find Neal ( _too long_ ), the wound is still bleeding, and nothing he can do here will help much. There's an ambulance on the way, but there's so much rock between the road and the beach...

Neal makes a distressed little noise in the back of his throat as Peter pulls his hand away. He strips out of his jacket as quickly as he can, lays it on Neal - some warmth has to be better than none - braces himself, and then carefully, so carefully, gathers Neal into his arms.

There's a lot of rock to clamber over, and he doesn't want to jostle Neal any more than he has to, so he moves slowly, makes sure he has good footing before he moves,makes his way to the side of the road almost blindly, all his attention focused on Neal and the way he's tilted his head closer to Peter's shoulder.

They get to the road safely, thank god. He lays Neal on the ground again, tries to apply some amount of pressure on the bullet wound. Neal, whose head had lolled to the other side when he was laid down, turns again and gives Peter another smile. "Didn't think you'd come," he says, so softly that Peter nearly missed it.

"I'm here," Peter says. "You just have to stay too, yeah? Stay with me."

Neal just blinks at him slowly with the most heartbreaking smile gracing his lips.

-:-

The ambulance takes Neal away so quickly that Peter's left just standing there, lost, till Diana guides him to the car and drives him to the hospital.

His back hurts, Peter realizes, at some point during the drive. Neal's not a lightweight, much as he may seem so.

Peter has never cared less about his back.

-:-

"Hon!"

Peter doesn't understand the terrified note in El's voice, the way she strides across the room as fast as she can, till she says, "Has a doctor seen you? That's a lot of blood, it's-"

"It's not mine," he says wearily. "It's Neal's."

"Oh god." If anything, El eyes grow even more worried. She practically falls into the seat next to his, holds his hand and searches his face.

"He's going to be okay," Peter murmurs, like that'll make it true.

El nods fiercely. "He is."

No reason to believe the worst till they have to.

-:-

The hospital room is as quiet as a hospital room can be, with machines beeping and people hurrying along the corridors.

Neal's lying in the bed. Breathing. _Living_.

Peter's standing just by the door. He could be closer to Neal, like El is, running a hand through Neal's hair, holding El's hand as they wait for Neal to come back. But the door feels right. He's standing guard over Neal, waiting for it to all be okay, waiting for the moment when it's okay to relax again.

He doesn't know when he'll be able to let Neal out of his sight again.

-:-

"Peter?" Neal whispers.

Peter almost springs forward from his post at the door. "Neal. _Neal._ "

Neal blinks at him again, just like before, makes him see blood on his hand, his shirt, makes his gut twist, _no_. "I'm glad I didn't die," he says, seemingly out of the blue.

"Me too," Peter says. "Me too," he tries to say again, but his words break weirdly and his eyes are blurring over and _oh god_ , he's crying. He sits in a chair and lets his head lean onto Neal and sobs helplessly.

He feels Neal's hand on his shoulder. "I'm here," Neal says softly.

Peter closes his eyes and smiles through the tears.


End file.
